0 Bachelor Season 17, Episode 8 recap

Hometown dates this week and we start things out in Houston with AshLee. I really hope, for her sake, that AshLee ends up with Sean. She has finally come out of her shell, and if she gets dumped she is going right back in and never coming out again. I wonder what it's like to fall into love versus falling in love. Do you think it's painful? Also, if a woman constantly compared me to her father I might get a little creeped out. Sean and AshLee's date on the grass weirded me out. AshLee was rambling about how much she cares and loves Sean, smothering him with emotions and feelings and he was not reciprocating. AshLee is really working herself up into a lather for this date. It is going to be an epic meltdown if she gets sent home. AshLee's family is so boring and when she mentions romance, things get awkward. Sean has one on ones with the parents and her parents seem really nice, especially the dad. Bruce's story about meeting AshLee cuts right to Siobhan's core and any time a dad starts crying, Siobhan turns to putty. AshLee is talking about pixie dust and the magic dust everywhere. I hope she doesn't get sent home.

Sean heads to Seattle and gets things wrong off the bat. It does not rain every day in Seattle. Sidenote: Go visit Seattle. It is worth the trip. A beautiful city with friendly people and a lot of cool neighborhoods. They head to the stereotypical Seattle spot, Pike Place Market and visit the fishmongers. Sean and Catherine have a lot more chemistry than him and AshLee, but maybe that's just because AshLee is so boring and not a risk taker. I was curious about Catherine's genes and we find out she is a Filipino. We meet Catherine's family, and man her sisters are lookers. Sean seems like a traditional person so I wonder if he is going to have some trouble relating. Oh man; Sean doing pushups with Catherine on his back is so ridiculous. Catherine's sisters ask some good questions of Catherine and she dodges and weaves and avoids answering them. Catherine's Mom doesn't give Sean her blessing. I love that a family being skeptical over a fraud relationship, where you spend maybe 15 hours over the course of 8 weeks with a person (along with a house full of other people whom you are also spending time with), is seen as a bad thing. If you ask me, that's just being realistic. Sean should embrace that kind of logical and thoughtful family. Why would you want to marry into a family full of idiots who thought reality show love was real love?

Sean says Lindsay possesses all the qualities he would look for in a wife. Some high praise right there. Lindsay loves the leg wrap. A real power move, letting Sean feel like he is in control. Watching Sean talk about Lindsay makes me want to vomit. Lindsay has that makeup caked on. It looks like she has two sets of eyes. The HD feed shows a big pimple on her cheek, which probably explains the heavy makeup. Lindsay has an advantage over Catherine and AshLee. She is way too dumb to be nervous. Sean meets Lindsay's family and dad does not look pleased. I guess I wouldn't be happy either if my daughter signed up for the Bachelor. I would be livid if some stranger came into my house and put his filthy paws on my daughter right in front of me. Sean talks to Lindsay's mom and she falls for him. Lindsay's dad seems like a pretty laid back guy for a major general in the Army. Sean gets the seal of approval and that's it for the show. He is going to end up with Lindsay. This has to be so disheartening for the women who watch this, sending all the wrong messages about what you need to do to end up with a dude like Sean, who for all his faults, is a pretty decent dude.

We come back for the last hometown date, a visit to see Desiree in L.A. She is well put together, not trying too hard and rocking the athletic outfit. Desiree is expecting her parents but a ex-boyfriend shows up and swears his love to her; payback for Sean's prank in the art store is what it looks like. I feel like a fool falling for the ABC editors bait and switch, splicing together two different clips to make one thing look like another. Desiree's family shows up and they seem like good people. Desiree's brother Nate, drops some skeptical bombs on her and pulls Sean aside to holla at him. I hope someone picked reciprocation in the word pool, cause the brother is going nuts. He probably stayed up all night practicing. Nate does bring up some good points though, about how Sean has these other women also on the hook while also talking to Desiree. The problem is, you need a less trashy version of Nate to confront Sean. Desiree's dad talking about the weather has to be the highlight of this episode; "we have 4 distinct seasons". First off, that's a lie, LA is 80 and sunny every day. Secondly, is there anything more mundane than talking about the weather? It's the ultimate sign of a futile conversation. I would rather sit in awkward silence than discuss cold fronts and cumulus clouds. Desiree's hometown date being torpedoed by her brother is setting her up nicely to be the next Bachelorette.

Shirtless Sean time, some well placed Calvin Klein product placement and Sean staring off into the sun(rise or set) starts the rose ceremony off. Sean doesn't like Catherine because she is "independent" and does not like Desiree because her brother is an angry trashy dude who knows the Bachelor is a sham. Desiree pulls Sean aside and has a breakdown, realizing she was on the verge of going home. Big time power move, trying to influence him right before the rose ceremony, showing him how much you need him. Sean walks away from the rose ceremony to stare at the framed pictures of the women. I mean, does he realize the actual live women are in the other room? Not to mention, way to build things up even more right before they come crashing down for the woman who gets sent home, dick. I like Chris Harrison's advice: "Platitude, cliche, platitude, trite saying, good luck". Sean decides that it comes down to who will he miss the most tomorrow, avoiding the more obvious idea of picking the person you like more or have interests in common with. Sean picks Catherine and sends Desiree home. I wonder if they can ship her brother off somewhere else and have her be the next Bachelorette, assuming they can pry her away from Sean after their emotional goodbye. I don't understand how women who go on the Bachelor think they will end up single. You don't get much better publicity for being a single desperate person than that.

Tomorrow is the Sean tell all special, so that could be interesting, but probably will not be. This is the first time I have actually sat down and watched every Bachelor episode start to finish and man, it is painful.