0 Bachelor Season 17, Episode 6 recap

Episode 6 starts with some picturesque scenes of the Canadian Rockies. The producers must have spent all of their budget on helicopters because we are 6 episodes in and still have not left North America. The producers must be feeling cruel, making Lindsay struggle to read the date card. Catherine gets the first date and like oh so many first dates, its a snow-bus trip to a glacier. If the homemade hand crafted furniture business falls apart, Sean can always ply his trade as a tour bus operator. Good God is he boring. Catherine "never gets cold" when she is with Sean. Apparently the first rule of thermodynamics does not apply around him. What a shitty date. Sitting outside in a snow storm. Catherine really needs to invest in a coat or some other cold weather gear. Girl is going to catch a cold. Catherine bares her soul to Sean, talking about some girl who got killed by a falling tree limb. Sounds like a Darwin Award winner if you ask me, but Sean seems to fall for it. Big deal. Catherine wouldn't last 10 minutes in New York. It wouldn't be a Saturday night without a jumper from the 59th Street bridge and I don't think she could cope.

We flash back to the hotel and get a group date card. Daniella does not get the one on one date and promises to not cry on camera, not mentioning the 5 other times she has cried on camera.

The group date begins with a canoe ride across the lake. Quick aside, Tierra looks like a gargoyle when she smiles. The producers are really on their cruel high horse, making Sarah do another challenge that involves physical activity. Pretty hard to paddle with one arm. You end up just going in circles. Lesley puts her feet up so Sean can as he says  "let me be a man back here". He is ridiculous. Dude is on some antiquated chivalry shit. The date is a polar bear challenge, and let me tell you, having done them in freezing ass Minnesota, they are awful. Selma backs out of the polar bear and that means she is going home. Acting like a princess is not going to get you Sean. They all strip down and jump in the water and all seem to not regret it until...Tierra has a breakdown. Her makeup is smearing and she looks terrible, appearing to be suffering from hypothermia. The thing with Tierra is, she is full of shit and would do anything to win. She already has somehow fallen up the stairs and allegedly gotten a concussion just to get alone time with Sean. Why would you believe her? It gets even more ridiculous when we see her with an oxygen tube in getting a foot massage while eating an Egg McMuffin.

Lindsay wants to go "all over the world" and do the polar bear challenge. Can't wait until she gets to Africa for that one.

The evening date begins with a toast and some alone time with Lesley and Sean. I like Lesley, but she is way too smart and with it for him to end up with her. Sean and Sarah have some alone time and she tries to make a lasting impression by showing him her family and saying she wants them to meet him. That's when you can see it click in his eyes that he has been leading her along and that she needs to go.

Tierra needs to do something about that rogue eyebrow. She  decides to show up to the group date. Lesley's pun about Tierra being a Tierrarist is predictably Tierrable. I think Lindsay had a stroke during her alone camera time. I also like her statement that Tierra is too young to marry Sean, even though she is the same age. Lindsay is such a sorority girl, taking Sean aside and just sucking on his face. She is shocked when her exchange of saliva doesn't result in a rose.

Sean sends Sarah home and you get the feeling this isn't the first time she has been dumped or sent home. Thanks for leading her along, dick! She bawls her eyes out and this is where Sean being so nice comes back to bite him in the ass. She actually thought she had a chance with Sean. She showed him her family pictures. And it didn't matter at all and it never did.

The one on one date is oh so typical of Sean, challenging the woman to some sort of test or feat of strength. Sean and Frank Costanza have a lot in common. Couple of things. A 400 foot hill is not a mountain. And rappelling is probably one of the easier things you can do when it comes to rock climbing, especially when ABC would end up with egg on their face if something actually happened.  Sean climbs a tree like a ring tailed lemur and Desiree follows him up where they start making out. Perfectly natural. Desiree opens up to Sean about being dirt poor and man does it feel awkward. Desiree talks about living in a tent and a trailer and going to school with kids who lived in multi-million dollar houses (that is a crazy school district) while hanging out in a tepee. I guess the producers wanted her to feel at home.

The rose ceremony cocktail party kicks off and Selma has brought her A (it looks more like a big C or small D) game.  I wonder if getting breast implants is a big shame to her family as well? Lindsay is dumber than a bag of hammers. Every time she opens her mouth I think less and less of her, if such a thing is possible. She is pulling out all the moves she learned at the Sigma Tau Delta mixer. AshLee pulls out a little kink and gives Sean a blindfold which is supposed to signify that he can take control. Sean pulls out the ultimate Sean move and picks up AshLee, to show her how strong and manly he can be.

The rose ceremony begins and Chris Harrison makes his appearance, explaining the rules that any idiot who can add and subtract could figure out. Sean sends home Daniella and Selma. Daniella was never not a drunken mess so that is to be expected. Daniella is THAT drunk girl at the bar, spilling her purse all over and losing her keys and talking just a little bit too loud. Selma stepped up her game towards the end but it was too little, too late for her. They head towards the Virgin Islands next week so it means Sean shirtless nonstop.

I wonder if Emily watches this and kicks herself for not picking Sean? He was exactly what she was looking for.