2 Bachelor Episode 3 recap

This episode starts out with a staple Sean shirtless shot. Working out and getting a run in, sans shirt. Totally natural and not staged at all.

Chris Harrison brings the first date card, and the man with the easiest job in in all media does not disappoint. Lesley M has a one on one date with Sean. She seems like one of the more normal girls on the show. They head to the Guinness Book of World Records Museum.

God. Sean is horribly boring. Even his responses seem like canned bullshit. Sidenote: Sean's dad seems much more interesting than Sean. Not an easy task. My dad likes singing (badly) Italian opera and eating at chain restaurants. Siobhan's dad orders all meat well done and eats exclusively at Irish pubs. Travelling to Fiji? Better hope there is an O' Flaherty's

Chris Harrison shows back up again, vest and all, with the date; setting a Guinness World Record. I guess it's a good 1st date story (I much prefer me hitting a pole while picking up Siobhan) and something to tell your kids about. If you remember from the last season and the beginning of this one, Sean is a notoriously bad kisser. Why would you pick something you are awful at for a date? It would be like me taking Siobhan to the pool for a swim and trying to impress her by not drowning. Sean drops a bunch of bullshit boilerplate nonsense about Lesley. How can you get more intimate with someone after kissing them for 3 minutes. Sean reminds me of another Sean I know. He has no game. Awkward silences galore. He tells Lesley M. to make a move and "take control". Jeeeesus. Irregardless, Lesley M has to be a surefire contestant for the final 3.

The second date is a giant group date of volleyball, a.k.a. time to wear swimsuits and show what you have for Sean. If you were curious, and I was, a fit model is "is a person who is used by a fashion designer or clothing manufacturer to check the fit, drape and visual appearance of a design on a 'real' human being, effectively acting as a live mannequin". News to me.
The women have to win a volleyball match to win a group date with Sean. A good thing he did not invite Sarah. That could have been awkward. Also, not to be critical, but wearing a cover-up on this date is a bad look. It shows a lack of confidence. The game ends and cue the waterworks. The model loses her shit, which is surprising. If anyone in the house should have confidence, its her.

The group date begins at Sean's house. Sean goes out with Lindsay and they talk and he takes control and starts making out. It's a weird dynamic that I'm not used to, seeing an aggressive Sean. It's scary to think that Lindsay is educating our nation's children. No wonder test scores are plummeting. Then Desiree comes for a one on one and starts rambling about deep thoughts and spiritualism, apparently unprompted. Random question: Do you think they carry breath mints at all times? Amanda brings nothing to the table, but Kacie B decides to intervene and tell Sean, ratting out two other girls. She must have missed the last Bachelor and how badly that turned out for Emily. Snitches get stitches. What a colossal meltdown. She comes back to apologize to Sean but it seems to fall on deaf ears.

Tierra grabs the date card and man, she is awful. She comes off like a Courtney wannabe, but pales in comparison to the queen of reality tv. Selma looks like a different person without makeup.

AshLee has a one on one date with Sean. How long do you think it took her to get ready? 3 hours? 4? She talks about how nothing can and will go wrong, which are high standards, even for a perfectionist. Tierra ruins AshLee's date by falling down the stairs, a classic attention grab. AshLee is not pleased, to say the least. I can't wait for the reunion show for the cat fight that is going to result. Eventually, Sean and AshLee head out to 6 flags and wow, what a badly planned date. AshLee looks pissed in the jeep that her hair is getting mussed and does not seem like the kind of person who enjoys amusement parks.

Man, now I feel bad for making fun of Sean. He seems like a genuine good dude who really cares about people. He is gonna get taken in by all of these stories, plus it will give women these unrealistic expectations for men. So I have to have a 6 pack, be in fantastic shape, care about everyone AND cry on demand. Whoof. Sean is the kind of dude who cries after sex because it was so beautiful. I haven't cried since Forrest Gump lost his mother. Side note: I wish the Bachelor and Bachelorette could get real bands that real people have heard of. I'm trying to think of other bands from other seasons, but failing miserably.

The final cocktail party happens and Sean brings Sarah her dog. Siobhan started crying, naturally. I mean, was Sean grown in a lab? Desiree comes in to swoop Sean from Tierra and she pouts like the child that she is. The cocktail party turns into a constant date swap and I stopped paying attention. The rose ceremony begins and Sean calls Kacie aside and plays the friend card. That is some cold blooded shit. Selma has her literal game face on and it works. Taryn and Kristy get sent home and wow, I am shocked, at least about Kristy. Taryn looked perpetually pissed off and shows emotion for the first time in the season way too late. Kristy was a model and has a sweet Wisconsin accent, which I can personally vouch for, but who knows.

A more interesting episode than the last and the one for next week has some real promise with Tierra's breakdown.