A song as ridiculous as Accidental Racist, deserves a special breakdown.
Sean: Tell me you saw the Brad Paisley/ L.L. Cool J song...
Marty: All I can say is wow. I can’t believe that this is an actual song. It is bad on soooo many levels. It is bad on an intelligence level, bad on a common sense level, bad on a this is nonsense level and most importantly bad on a musical level.
Sean: April Fool’s Day was a week ago. People pulled pranks, told tall tales and exaggerated things. I told one of my friends that I got engaged. Lindsay Lohan tweeted out (a day late, naturally) that she was pregnant. Those are the kind of hi-jinks you expect on April Fool’s Day. Today is a week from April Fool’s Day. If you say something now, you mean it. If you release a song starring a country singer and a rap “artist” (artist gets air quotes because LL Cool J hasn’t released a commercially successful album in quite some time and is more well known for acting on NCIS) and call this song “Accidental Racist” you are being serious.
Marty: It really could be an April Fool’s day joke. I mean how many rappers did Brad Paisley get turned down by before he got to L.L. Cool J? It would have to be at least double digits. Or maybe Brad Paisley is a huge NCIS fan and L.L. Cool J is the only rapper that he knows of.
Sean: The song is, quite simply, a train wreck. Brad Paisley starts by talking about how wearing a Confederate flag isn’t offensive; it shows his love for Lynyrd Skynyrd. Not to be obtuse, Brad, but why not just wear a Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt? That would seem a more appropriate way to showcase your Skynyrd adoration. The song continues with this understated line “Just a proud rebel son with an 'ol can of worms”. That’s like calling 300 years of outright slavery followed by 100 years of institutionalized slavery a hiccup (also, people claiming southern pride forget that black people also lived in the south. I doubt they feel the same type of southern pride). Oh wait, that’s exactly what that is.
The LL Cool J lines are incredible. I mean the dictionary definition of incredible: So implausible as to elicit disbelief.
Marty: There is no way that a Confederate flag isn’t offensive. And that’s just how it is. I’m a white dude and I’m offended whenever I see some idiot with that flag on their truck. Southern pride is just code word for being allowed to be racist. Is there Northern pride? Is there Western pride? Is there South-West pride? No. So why the hell is there Southern pride? The only thing that the South has different from the rest of America is that they fought an entire war so that they could continue to have slaves. A war, which last time I checked you lost. Yep, that flag that gives you so much pride is a flag of a bunch of big, huge losers who were also traitors. Yeah, that sure sounds like something to be proud of. The Confederate flag is tied to racism and hate just as much as a Nazi-Swastika is tied to racism and hate. If someone said that they were wearing a Nazi-Swastika because they are for German pride and not because they hate anything, you’d say they were crazy. So Brad Paisley, you are crazy.
Take a look at a few lines from LL Cool J’s rap:
“I wish you understood
What the world is really like when you're livin' in the hood”
Sean: Hood is a colloquialism for neighborhood. Everyone lives in one.
Marty: Way to go L.L. Cool J keep on perpetuating the stereotype that all black people live in the ‘hood.
“Just because my pants are saggin' doesn't mean I'm up to no good
You should try to get to know me, I really wish you would”
Sean: Sagging pants. Is this the 90’s?
Marty: Ha, so spot on. Kanye would never allow himself to be seen looking sloppy with sagging pants. Looking like a hipster is what’s in. Besides when do you think was the last time that L.L. Cool J sagged his pants 1993?
“Now my chains are gold but I'm still misunderstood
I wasn't there when Sherman's March turned the south into firewood”
Sean: Nice little slavery metaphor there.
Marty: Hey L.L. why was General Sherman even in the South? Because the South decided to fight a Civil War. What was General Sherman supposed to do? Play nice and hope the South realized they needed to be reasonable and would stop fighting the North? I’m sure that would have worked.
“I'd love to buy you a beer, conversate and clear the air
But I see that red flag and I think you wish I wasn't here”
Sean: Well you don’t have to think that. If you opened a book you would know that the Confederate flag is a throwback to the Civil War, when blacks were property, not people.
Marty: Exactly.
And how about when they go back and forth, L.L. equates a do-rag with a Confederate flag (yeah those two things are soooo similar) and gold chains to iron chains (so according to L.L. as long as you let him wear some gold he’ll forgive you for that whole little slavery thing). L.L. Cool J also calls himself a black Yankee. When was the last time that someone from the North seriously referred to himself as a Yankee? L.L. saved the best in the back and forth for last: “RIP Robert E. Lee but I’ve gotta thank Abraham Lincoln for freeing me, know what I mean” I’m so glad you are thanking Abraham Lincoln for freeing you L.L. I’m waiting for a mash up of a Jewish rapper with a neo-Nazi. RIP Hitler but I gotta thank FDR for keeping me alive, know what I mean?
Sean: I don’t really know what else there is to say about this song. It seems like a clear cry for help or attention for LL Cool J. It may be good for him temporarily, but his CBS NCIS overlords do not like controversy and controversy this will cause. No one will care about Paisley because, quite frankly, country music has a reputation for being close minded and conservative. This isn’t fair, but life’s not fair.
Marty: I really don’t understand why L.L. Cool J ever decided to do this song. He has to be really wealthy right? I don’t see how making really bad music and making excuses for racists is a good career move. And Brad Paisley you say the past is the past and you want to move on. How about you stop wearing a flag that represents the past? I think that would be a really good start. By the way you aren’t being accidental when you wear the Confederate flag full knowing that a lot of people associate it was racism. It’s called being purposefully racist. L.L. and Brad if you are going to go with the whole controversial song gimmick how about you actually make a good song and not this train wreck of a mess that really shouldn’t even be called music. All I can do is SMDH about all this nonsense.
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